My life has been so full of "growth opportunities" lately that I have not felt that I could translate my thoughts and experiences into blog world. I so admire the simple, eloquent and honest manner that my favorite blog writers share their truth with (see:Christina Sell, karen Sprute Francovich and Maria Christina).
Suffice it to say that I have been pushed, by the grace of God, to take a real look at if I am truly living what I say I believe. And then, of course, do I really believe what I say I believe? My therapist has told me many times, "Shannon, it is easy to preach spirituality. What is true and simple, but not always so easy, is LIVING and BREATHING what you preach".
Here is what I have come to: I do believe what I say I believe. I fully celebrate the Anusara philosophy as I understand it. I believe that I am intrinsically good, that in my heart lives everything I need to know for bliss in this life. I believe that there is an all powerful Source of everything and that I am deeply and thoroughly connected to Its power and the pulse of all of Life through It. The question for me becomes: am I willing to do what it takes to maintain a conscious contact with this Supreme Intelligence?
Anusara philosophy teaches that each of us, at our core,is expansive, full of bliss and, connected to the One Source of all freedom, all bliss, all Consciousness, all goodness. The Great Pulsing Heart of all hearts. There are certain things in my life, habits of thought and actions, that limit my conscious connection to the One that lives in me. At this point in my life, I feel that I am being called to stand in spiritual discipline (Paul Muller calls this, "adult spirituality"). I think I have had huge rebellion to and suspicion of "discipline". You know, "no one is going to be the boss of me"--sounds real adult huh?
Truth is, in my family, discipline was about a child being bad. I didn't receive a positive picture or example of discipline. Now talk to me about disciplining myself from a place of fear and I can show you one disciplined lady. I have definitely lived self-discipline, just not in the name of love, not around aligning with a benvolent higher power and with my own heart.
I came across a post today in Olga Rasmussen's, "Aligning with Grace" blog (she's another AMAZING blogger/teacher:-)) in her notes from the certified gathering with John Friend:
"Grace is the yogic discipline of remembering"-Bill Mahoney, Tantric Scholar, Davidson
For the vision of my heart to flourish, for my relationship with myself to continue to grow in fondness and intimacy, for me to continue to step into my power and who I truly am, I must now move more fully into Adult Spirituality Land. Discipline in this sense isn't about being punished or controlled or told that there is one way I must believe in order to be "right" or loved. It is not about being able to see God if I jump through hoops that make me pure, etc. Discipline is what Christina Sell wrote so beautifully about in her blog: it is the purposeful binding of one's self to the Light.
And there is a discipline here. It means I make certain choices about how I live because I know what best serves my coming closer to the Light and what takes me further away.
"God doesn't fulfill our desires-this is the view of those still trapped by limited understanding-rather God is our highest and most sublime desire."
Douglas Brooks,Poised for Grace