Knowing Love

I have been aware for awhile now that the people I most admire, the one's that are living life in a way that I want to emulate, are people who pursue and nourish a relationship with Divine Self and a God of their understanding. There is not a time I can remember that I have not yearned for God. Not a time that I have not wanted to lean into and on the Great Love. As a little person circumstances taught me that it was much safer to rely on myself and my own best thinking. This worked really well too. However, as I became older, this thinking became the source of much suffering in my life.

I guess for me (I always have this story that this doesn't happen to you folks . . . whoever "you" are) this will a the place where there is a good bit of fluctuation: my willingness to lean into Love.

When I type this I feel embarrassed. Like, who wouldn't want to lean on Love? Well, I need a lot of reminding. Every morning I ask God to help me see Him/Her. Then I hear the birds singing and my sweet puppies shake their little bottoms and my cat cries for more food and I remember that there must be a great Love that holds us.

So, here is my work. May, I be willing to set myself into the hands of the One that I may not always be able to see in the ways I think I should be able to. May my thinking be cleared so that I realize that I don't even know how I think God should look, I just know that I have a lot of fear and doubt.

Finally,I want to share a small bit from Bill Mahoney's new work, "Exquisite Love" (available at anusara.com--run don't walk folks). I pranam at Mr. Mahoney's feet for his faith and his work because it has spoken to my heart so profoundly.

"When I reflect on this song of creation, I sometimes picture in my mind a vast unbounded ocean of undifferetiated Consciousness. It is an ocean of pure life. Then, a pulse--Love Itself--moves within this infinite field of potential. Rays of love spread outward from this center, taking countless different forms as individual waves rise into existence, each refracting the light of Consciousness in their own particular ways and conditioned by various forces. The One becomes the Many, all of which also hold within them the essence of the One. You and I are instances of such waves in this ocean of Consciousness, at the center of which is Love".

p.5

Ross Rayburn and loving you

Okay, so cutie-pie and Certified Anusara Instructor, Ross Rayburn does not know me from Adam. However, if you have seen him then the title of this entry caught your interest. No, really, not only is he a doll, but he is a humble, gifted, wise teacher in the Anusara tradition.

Believe it or not I am not writing this post about Ross. I mostly just thought I was being funny AND I am inspired by something he said AND my last post (August, 2010, but who's counting) was inspired by him as well.

Here's the real thing I am writing about today. This was inspired by Olga Rasmussen's entry on something Ross said in a workshop she attended:

"Are you maintaining your relationship to your goodness in every thought word, and deed? This is the whole ball of wax in yoga! And if you do not become a better person through your practice, then do something else. "

And then this beauty:

Immerse yourself in the rapture of music. You know what you love. Go There.tend to each note, each chord,Rising up from silence and dissolving again. Vibrating strings draw usInto the spaciousness of the heart. The body becomes light as the skyAnd you, one with the Great Musician,Who is even now singing usInto existence. Verse 18. The Radiance SutrasVijnana Bhairava Tantra (http://vimalablue.wordpress.com/)

Huh! I don't need to say anything really. YOU! BEAUTIFUL YOU.

"You, ONE with the GREAT MUSICIAN"

May we be soft and sweet as we tend to each note of us, each note of our lives y'all.

This is yoga.

The triadic adventure

Today I was blessed to be able to attend Ross Rayburn's practice in Atlanta (thanks so much to Gina for hosting him!). I love how the universe conspires to help us awaken . . . this was exactly what I needed.

So, Ross said his theme for this year was the Triadic Adventure. He spoke about how important it was for us to remember that to everything there is a beginning, a middle and an end. This was so potent for me because lately I have been jumping to the end (which is completely imagined by me I might add) instead of being with what is.

I love Anusara because its principles are so beautifully relative to living a good life while accepting Life on Life's terms. Ross spoke to how we can learn to skillfully align with the Bigger energy in order to manifest the life we desire.

So he used the three goddesses, Kali (darkness, "the rumbling of beginnings and the chopping up of our expactations" as Ross said); Saraswati (goddess of orderliness)and
Laksmi (the goddess of beautiful expression) to demonstrate how to skillfully align with the Supreme Energy.

He said that first we must always soften and let go of our limited ideas and expectations. Next, after we have become still and settled we must create order, we must think about what our choices are, what the highest action would be to take--instead of simply reacting to what Life has placed in our paths. Finally, after aligning with the Higher Intellegence, we come into the beautiful whoosh part of the wave. That innate beauty that is able to express itself fully and freely.

Ross's message was so powerful for me as he reminded us that if we are too busy dwelling in the end, trying to get to the Laksmi (or beautiful part) of the experience then we actually miss the Light. We are so busy trying to get to the beauty, get to the Light, that we miss it completely. He said we must be willing to start at the beginning. In the darkness, or Kali, in order to really see the Light.

Let me insert a personal note here (well, I guess this is all my personal note, but you know what I mean . . .) and say that I have been so caught up in the drama and seeming whirlwind of some rather challenging and stressful personal circumstances that I have turned on my iron grip to try to "handle" (i.e. control) everything. Now, intellectually, and in times of less stress, I gleefully remember that when I am clinging and grasping to something I block the Sunlight of the Spirit. When I am scared or feel threatened however, I often throw all that out the window and move into fight or flight mode as fast as I can.

This week I am going to work with getting settled. First settle, and then, big ole' heart softening. Then, pray, skillfully align with the wisdom within. Make room for the Light. Make space so the Light is not blocked.

This should keep me busy.

Unfolding to Grace

Grace was not a theory that was taught in my home when I was growing up. I think my family mythology was that there was not a such thing as abundance or Divine help. Goodness that flowed in our own hearts and all around us as a real force that we could tap into was just not an option in the Frank household. I always think it so wonderful, so heartening when I see my friends raising their children with hope, with the notion that there are endless possibilities and they have support to try them out. The first way we learn about Grace is from our parents and how they relate to the world. We all know this can be wonderful or, not so wonderful :-) I digress.

Grace is defined as, "the unmerited love and favor of God toward mankind; divine influence acting in a person to make the person pure, morally strong; a special virtue, gift, or help given to a person by God". (dictionary.com)

The 1st principle of Anusara yoga is "Open to Grace". This principle reminds us that before we exert any effort, make any plans, move a muscle we are to soften and open to the bigger flow. We remember God 1st, we surrender, we remember there is help, and then we move forward. So cool, huh?

"Know that Grace has the power
to transform everything you aspire to,
so aspire to the highest
and offer yourself to Grace."
~ John Friend

Opening to Grace means we become available to the flow of our lives and we know and consciously tap into the force of goodness that is ALWAYS there supporting us. This flow is called Grace.

"Grace will hold you
every step of the way."
~ John Friend

Olga Rasmussen says that Opening to Grace means, "saying yes to the whole river of life in all its permutations . . . . "

It is my prayer and my deep (and often challenging) work at this point in my life to hold the discipline of practicing connecting with the God of my understanding and surrendering at the beginning of every day. When I do not do this I feel disconnected, not as clear, and eventually I begin to wonder why I do not feel as, "in the flow". Well, it is because I have walked away from it.

Grace offers gerself to us boundlessly. May each of us walk into her arms.

I will be teaching a 2 hour class this Saturday, June 26th, on the 1st principle of Anusara, "Opening to Grace", 8 a.m.-10 a.m. Class will be all levels.
www.athensfivepointsyoga.com

Into our hearts

What a lovely morning it is here in Athens, GA. The birdies are busily chatting away and the tremendous storm seemed to blow away some of the heat . . . at least for the moment.
Speaking of tremendous, I am feeling tremendously inspired as of late. Thank God. It is a much welcomed reprieve after many months of feeling disconnected and less than inspired. The lovely Christina Sell graced Athens this past weekend and that just helped to fuel my fire. I learned so much and my body feels challenged and open. Yum.

Lately I have been pondering the glorious possibility that it is through the body that we come to our hearts. Christina has a quote from Douglas Brooks on her blog(May 9, 2010), "If you want to lay claim to your whirling mind you have to lay claim to your body". Coming from a family and, I believe, largely cultural, belief that the body is just to be shaped and controlled to make us more "presentable", more "worthy", I am so heartened to hear talk such as this. It has certainly been my experience that my body and my relationship with it is one of my greatest teachers.

I have been reading this blog, "Out of the Blue". The logger describes the awesome potential for healing and moving more deeply into the heart of who we truly are:

The blogger is speaking of asking Annamalai Swami a question:

"As a young lustful yogi I had the termerity to ask him what remains to be done for realisation. Through his radiant translator, Sundarum, he said simply “Pay attention to your vasanas.” I replied “Duh. What’s a vasana?” “Tendencies of the mind. ” This is the most simple and the most difficult of advice, and has entwined me in a lifetime of sadhana.

So vasanas are tendencies of the personality, what makes me particularly quirky and distinct, is what produces the habitual modes of action, that makes me do what I do in spite of myself. Feuerstein describes them thus, ” If we liken the psyche to soft wax, vasanas are the karmic imprints left behind by our psychic activities. Vasanas are chains of similar karmic activators (samskaras), deposited in the depths of the mind through actions and volition. They must be dissolved before enlightenment can be attained.” (2001:460).

And this leads me onto Anusara yoga, to my little sacroiliac lila of late, kleshas and the pathway into union with the Divine.

A major key that unlocked why yoga is an essential part of sadhana, which took me a long time to understand was seeing how the afflictions or kleshas operate. I have a natal sun square pluto which means I am particularly well endowed with affliction. Thankyou Divine. i.e. Periodic meltdown and radical transformation, like it or not, and let me tell you, mostly I do not. I am brought to my knees regularly and still I do not see.

So to embody the blessings of practice, is to unlock this contracted energy, this resistance to life. In yogic terms the vasanas and its associated trauma penetrates deeper than the organs and tissues. This energy of these vasanas are hanging out in the pranamayakosha, or the subtle energy body. Yoga philosophy speaks of five afflictions that keep us bound to reality. Ignorance, I-ness, craving, aversion, clinging to life and fear of death. The energy of these afflictions collapse in on themselves like a dying star, or a black hole and are embedded in the subtle energy body. They reflect in the mirror of the physical body. Until these energy cysts are treated the structure and function of the tissues will continue to reflect them. Svoboda says vasanas can be inherited from ones ancestors, or perchance a past life. Regardless they seem to be largely there when we are born. Bummer. They clearly show up as my cramp.

Yoga unwinds these patterns. Sadhana unwinds these vasanas. This is why yoga makes me feel so peaceful, so sane. And why Anusara reveals the body of Light, and a possibility greater than myself. How practice dissolves these “subliminal activators” that keeps us having bad hair days. Sadhana then is the path of peace, the path of heart. The only choice …"

“Be strong then and enter into your own body.
There you have a solid place for your feet.
Think about it carefully
Don’t go off somewhere else.
Kabir says this.
just throw away all thoughts of imaginary things.
And stand firm in that which you are.” Kabir

May I accept the offerings of Truth my body offers so generously. Happy weekend!

Gratitude

So today started beautifully. I had a very inspired practice at the studio and even got in touch with some uncomfortable feelings that had been lurking around in the ethers of my body/mind. It was quite wonderful actually as I was able to sit with the feelings and process them out instead of stuffing them back down. Due to this, and the wonderful students at class today, I had a delicious time teaching my 9.30 a.m. class. I felt clear and connected.

Later, stuff just didn't quite go exactly as I wanted it to. I began harboring some resentments (or some old ones re-surfaced) and then I began to think I was not good enough. The old, "if only I was "blank", then I would be happy" routine. Uggh. No no no fun.

So, I called a friend and she listened sweetly. We talked about possibilities for where the anger was coming from and what needed to happen so I could clear that "stuff" up. She also suggested that I consider a gratitude list. Honestly it is hilarious how strongly I will resist practices like this when I am "in a funk". I was like, "okay, I am miserable feeling like this, but do I REALLY want to let go? do I really want to try another way?" Sometimes folks,I just like to bitch.

So, knowing that this is not truly who I am, or all that I want to embrace I have decided to try a gratitude list for today. Here goes:
1. I have a wonderful partner in my husband
2. It poured rain today-I love big thunder/rain storms
3. I have plenty to eat/drink and shelter.
4. I am doing the job of my heart's dream (yoga!)
5. I have two of the best puppies
6. I am healthy
7. I have tons of loving support from people who want to see the real me (hubbie, friends, family)
Honestly, now I am thinking I could go on and on. I don't want to bore you, but do want to invite you to join me in Opening to the Grace in our lives. I feel better already. What are you grateful for today?

Two reminders:
-Group practice at 5 Points Yoga (www.athensfivepointsyoga), 5-7 p.m., Saturday, June 5th
-Christina Sell!!!! 5 Points Yoga, June 11-13

Finally, this lovely quote is from Olga Rasmussen's insights on her blog:

"Peace is found in surrender to good through devotion. People who are loving, who practice stillness, who delight in meditation and good actions are really peaceful. Peace is the altar of God, the conditions in which happiness exists...

Live each present moment completely and the future will take care of itself. Fully enjoy the wonder and beauty of each instant. Practice the presence of peace. The more you do that, the more you will feel the presence of that power in your life..."
-Paramahansa Yogananda

When you day does not go as planned - and even when it does - practice peace!

Posted by Olga Rasmussen on her lovely blog: aligningwithgrace.blogspot.com

discipline

My life has been so full of "growth opportunities" lately that I have not felt that I could translate my thoughts and experiences into blog world. I so admire the simple, eloquent and honest manner that my favorite blog writers share their truth with (see:Christina Sell, karen Sprute Francovich and Maria Christina).

Suffice it to say that I have been pushed, by the grace of God, to take a real look at if I am truly living what I say I believe. And then, of course, do I really believe what I say I believe? My therapist has told me many times, "Shannon, it is easy to preach spirituality. What is true and simple, but not always so easy, is LIVING and BREATHING what you preach".

Here is what I have come to: I do believe what I say I believe. I fully celebrate the Anusara philosophy as I understand it. I believe that I am intrinsically good, that in my heart lives everything I need to know for bliss in this life. I believe that there is an all powerful Source of everything and that I am deeply and thoroughly connected to Its power and the pulse of all of Life through It. The question for me becomes: am I willing to do what it takes to maintain a conscious contact with this Supreme Intelligence?

Anusara philosophy teaches that each of us, at our core,is expansive, full of bliss and, connected to the One Source of all freedom, all bliss, all Consciousness, all goodness. The Great Pulsing Heart of all hearts. There are certain things in my life, habits of thought and actions, that limit my conscious connection to the One that lives in me. At this point in my life, I feel that I am being called to stand in spiritual discipline (Paul Muller calls this, "adult spirituality"). I think I have had huge rebellion to and suspicion of "discipline". You know, "no one is going to be the boss of me"--sounds real adult huh?

Truth is, in my family, discipline was about a child being bad. I didn't receive a positive picture or example of discipline. Now talk to me about disciplining myself from a place of fear and I can show you one disciplined lady. I have definitely lived self-discipline, just not in the name of love, not around aligning with a benvolent higher power and with my own heart.

I came across a post today in Olga Rasmussen's, "Aligning with Grace" blog (she's another AMAZING blogger/teacher:-)) in her notes from the certified gathering with John Friend:

"Grace is the yogic discipline of remembering"-Bill Mahoney, Tantric Scholar, Davidson

For the vision of my heart to flourish, for my relationship with myself to continue to grow in fondness and intimacy, for me to continue to step into my power and who I truly am, I must now move more fully into Adult Spirituality Land. Discipline in this sense isn't about being punished or controlled or told that there is one way I must believe in order to be "right" or loved. It is not about being able to see God if I jump through hoops that make me pure, etc. Discipline is what Christina Sell wrote so beautifully about in her blog: it is the purposeful binding of one's self to the Light.

And there is a discipline here. It means I make certain choices about how I live because I know what best serves my coming closer to the Light and what takes me further away.

"God doesn't fulfill our desires-this is the view of those still trapped by limited understanding-rather God is our highest and most sublime desire."
Douglas Brooks,Poised for Grace